i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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