we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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