So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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