my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
