Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
