is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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