I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
