Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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