eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
home. puking in laundry basket.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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