I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
