so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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