I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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