i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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