I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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