but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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