Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
