New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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