What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
