so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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