We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
