remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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