im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
