The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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