i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just high enough for therapy.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize