Betty ford says i'm here all night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There's always time for handjobs
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How does one acquire holy water?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
