he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize