And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
one might say we're banned from that church
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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