So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
