can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
