Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
