Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
