Cold hands, warm shart.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
