So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
