I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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