So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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