if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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