I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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