dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
