totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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