We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
