I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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