No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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