This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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