Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
