Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
