Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
