am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Princesses don't give blow jobs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
