I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
zippers are such a cool invention
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
