I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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