Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
