I just made out with a guy for $7.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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