sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
