I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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