Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
