Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms

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(315): View more from New York

I think im going to throw up on grandma

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(516): View more from New York

Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again

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(406): View more from Montana

I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

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(708): View more from Illinois

Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.

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(702): View more from Nevada

If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has

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