so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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