Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize