Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The power of my boobs compel you
Terrible idea I love it
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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