uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
