She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
