i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The adults are the big ones right?
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