I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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