I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize