hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
