its not stalking. its research.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
