god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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