I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
