Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
