I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
